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Caribbean Travel RoundupNewsletter - Paul Graveline, Editor |
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Musings on Antigua People and Culture Antiguans are among the friendliest folks in the Caribbean. "No worries, Mon. Feelin' irie." as they say. On our very first night, Beth and I went to a bar called Lashings. Not sure to what the name refers, but there was a crude, hand- painted sign out front that said "No cover. Spliff pays for all." We never got around to meeting and thanking Mr. Spliff, but it sure was nice of him to pay our cover. (Didn't I say that Antiguans are friendly?) And that's not all. At the bar, a guy named Mango bought us drinks all night long. Mango was hangin' out (or "liming", as they say in the islands) and invited us over to his corner of the bar where we discussed his philosophy on life. He told us that he just returned from an eighteen month stay at Rikers Island - I think that's somewhere near Barbados - and was enjoying being back home in Antigua, where the food was much better. Mango's full name was: Mango Winston Jefferson Thomas Sayers. I think he made up the Mango part because on our previous visits to the Caribbean, we've met lots of people with nicknames like One Love, Gong, and Dr. Dreds. Before we went down to Antigua, Beth and I decided that, in order to fit in with the locals, we should adapt Caribbean nicknames too. So after months of consideration, she named me "Rock Steady", not after one of the beloved and dearly departed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but after the Jamaican style of music that was the precursor to reggae. Beth adapted "Irie" (no, not Irene, but close). Irie is a universal Caribbean greeting like "Aloha" or "Shalom". In the words of Mango, "Irie means one love, one heart, it means hello, it means goodbye, it means have a nice day and most of all it means love." We also learned that it can be used as an adjective, as in "I'm feeling Irie." (Hey, that's my wife you're talking about!) Mango had a huge wad of cash (he said he was in sales) and wouldn't let us pay for drinks. We finally snuck in a round when he went to the restroom. He favored rum & cokes with no ice (yuk!), while Beth and I downed several bottles of Wadadli beer. (Wadadli was the Amerindian name for the island before Christopher Columbus "discovered" it, acquired the naming rights for $30 million and re- named it Antigua after his ex-girlfriend.) Wadadli is brewed at the Antigua Brewery, which also has the local contract to brew Carib (Trinidad) and Red Stripe (Jamaica). As we tried all three, we became convinced that they were practicing something that marketing types refer to as "private label/multiple brand/single channel distribution" or "same beer/different labels. The Driving Experience Our Antigua driving experience began when we arrived at VC Bird International Airport, where we were met by the local car rental agent, Mr. Martin (he has no first name). He outfitted us with a well-worn Toyota Corolla with about 70,000 miles on it, a leaky roof, and perfectly bald tires. The curious BMW alloy rims and the word "turbo" scratched into the hood didn't improve its performance, but definitely made us feel sporty. "See you in a week, if not sooner," laughed Mr. Martin, as he bade us safe journey. Did I detect a snicker? Driving in Antigua, like most of the Caribbean, is an experience not to miss. It's especially fun for those of us who must get used to driving not only on the other side of the road, but the other side of the car. For example, during the first couple of days, I'd turn on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal. To keep Beth from thinking that I was a less worldly man than I've fooled her into believing, I just kept telling her after every right turn, "Yup, the wipers still work." Since we're in the season of the Winter Olympics, I'll use a sports analogy to describe driving in Antigua: It's a combination of the slalom, moguls, and bobsled, with an occasional half-pipe thrown in if you get too close to the edge of a mountain road. Actually, the roads aren't universally potholed (St. Kitts wins that title) but there are places on the island that would be great spots to film a Chevy Truck ad - downtown St. John's and Fig Tree Drive, for example. The real thrill of driving in Antigua lies in the fact that the roads are narrow and people pass you at will - on hills, curves, on the shoulder. There are lots of dogs, cows, goats and sheep to dodge too. We even had to stop because a dog was nursing her puppy in the middle of the road! By the way, Caribbean sheep look just like goats; not fluffy wooly things like the one in the Wallace & Gromit movie, but dark hairy creatures. The way you tell the difference between a sheep and a goat is that a goat's tail points up and a sheep's down; also male sheep have horns and beards, which they pee on to attract the females. But I digress…The best thing about driving in Antigua, especially for us parking-deprived Bostonians, is that you can park anywhere! You're driving down the All Saints Highway and you'd like to pop into a roadside stand for a beer, no problem, Mon! Don't pull over, just stop in the middle of the road, put it in park and get out. It must be legal because all the locals do it. The other fun part about driving in Antigua is that there are very few road signs, so you generally have no idea where you're going. But, I've always lived by the credo, "If you don't know where you're going, all roads lead there," so, in effect, we were never really lost. Fortunately, some of the local restaurants pitch in where the local Highway Department falls short. Chez Pascal, for example, has signs all over the island, pointing to their restaurant. Since Chez Pascal was right near our cottage, this was a big help; their signs were everywhere, even on the opposite end of the island - kind of like a sign in the middle of Manhattan pointing west to Los Angeles. We turned to our trusty tourist map that Mr. Martin gave us, but it was pretty vague and the major roads don't look a lot different from the minor roads. Add in Beth's navigationally- challenged gene and we were in total confusion. Fortunately, Antiguans are among the friendliest folk in the Caribbean. Ask even the timidest looking local how to get somewhere, and he or she perks up and points you in the right direction. On our first night, we were driving in the outskirts of St. John's. A van followed us for a few blocks and then finally pulled alongside. The driver, detecting that we were clearly lost, asked us where we were headed. He laughed as he shook his head and then led us to the correct road. Not only are there few signs to tell you where you are, there are few that let you know when you're on a one-way street. We eventually developed a strategy to just go down the street until people started honking at us. We'd play naïve and honk back as if they were just being friendly, then discreetly turn around. Yes, driving in Antigua is truly an adventure, but I suppose Antiguans would say that about driving in Boston where drivers fall into one of two categories: homicidal or suicidal. All in all, it was definitely worth renting a car and exploring the island. People and Culture (part 2) We went on vacation to this idyllic island wanting to relax and tune out the "real" world, but I've never been able to truly disengage. The curious guy that I am, I often picked up the local paper, the Antigua Sun - which, for the duration of my holiday, became my lifeline to the "real" world. As I read it, especially the op-ed pages and letters to the editor, I concluded that, despite being paradisaical, Antigua is the "real world" too...at least in its own way. In fact, the issues people in Antigua have about are not a whole lot different than those we have back home in Boston. For example: Boston Globe letters to the editor: "Our government is ineffective", "Our roads are lousy", "The Red Sox suck". Antigua Sun letters to the editor: "Our government is ineffective", "Our roads are lousy", "The West Indies cricket team sucks." On the other hand, crime is pretty low on Antigua. Reading the police blotter section of the Sun, it was reassuring to see that law and order is a priority for the Royal Antiguan Police Force and the local courts. Even the pettiest of bad deeds don't go unpunished. Some of the headlines in the police blotter included: "Nine Months Hard Labor for Bike Thief" "Man Charged for Breaking, Entering, and Sleeping." "Man Found in Contempt for Using Expletive in the Court" In addition to reading the Antigua Sun, I also listened to the radio quite often as I was lying on the beach, mainly for the local music, but also to hear about the goings-on in the nation. Radio formats vary quite a bit, from music, to news to religious programming to the ubiquitous cricket updates and discussions - just like sports- talk radio at home -- and even a curious country-and-western music program broadcast from the nearby Voice Of Nevis. I don't think Howard Stern or Don Imus have made it down here yet, but there were some talk show callers that would make even Rush Limbaugh blush. One peculiar aspect of local radio was that, in the narrative tradition of calypso music, some public service radio announcements are made in the form of a song. The Department of Agriculture had two smash hits: "Beware of the Mealyworm" and "Watch Out for Dem Fire Ants." I must have missed them on MTV.
I noticed I had a slightly different experience at the Atlantis resorts than some - thought you might like to see this. If you have questions feel free to email me: Paradise Island - Atlantis Resort: Sink, Sank, Sunk (or should we say Stunk?) Paradise Island - Atlantis has a lot of eye candy in terms of water exhibits and architecture, but sadly this candy is only a sugar coating for a lot of hype with little substance. Perhaps I should have realized there was a problem when our transport to a purported upscale hotel squeezed some 19 people into a tiny van like sardines. Perhaps the clue phone should have hit when Guest Services tried to get us involved in a Time Share sales pitch within an hour of our arrival, or when a lunch sandwich cost $15. But being someone who tends to give a place a fair shake, my family and I went into wait and see mode. Unfortunately waiting only made matters worse. After having saved for a very long time for what was supposed to be a dream vacation, our dream rapidly turned into a nightmare. In brief, here are just a few of the other problems we encountered first hand (and several reported to us again and again by other guests who were likewise disappointed if not down-right irate with the situation): · Uninformed Employees: On one very simple question about a walking tour of Atlantis we were told once that they left every fifteen minutes, another time that they only left twice a day, and the third time that they were no longer an offered service. Additionally, when giving directions very few employees could tell you how to get from "here to there" in the straightest possible line. · Leak in our Bathroom Ceiling: At four am on our first day we were awoken to the sound of pouring water from the ceiling. It took four phone calls and an unpleasant meeting with the hotel manager that night to get the situation repaired. · No indoor Activities: Should it rain, get prepared to either gamble or watch rented movies in your room. There are no indoor pools, pinball machines, etc. for those days when weather or wind strike. · Teen Cub & Movie Theater were only open Thursday, Friday and Saturdays in the night, meaning teens had no place to go the rest of the week (returning to the indoor activity problem). Movies were rarely appropriate for children, and teen club had a cover charge even for hotel guests. · Live Entertainment: Where? What entertainment? In six days I saw ONE steel band near the beach · Sporting Equipment and Sports Center - both required fees to on property hotel guests (as did the spa - no complimentary gym, hot tub, sauna, etc facilities) · Ice machines not marked (one had to hunt behind the maid's gear to find them) · No restaurants that serve early morning breakfast for guests with early flights or other plans (specifically no restaurants that accept their own prepaid meal plan). Speaking of which · Meal Plan: First of all I had to BEG to get reservations at reasonable hours in the restaurants that accepted the "gourmet" meal plan, and secondly they add on a mandatory 15% tip even if the service sucks. But for the Marketplace restaurant and one decent steak at Fathoms - don't eat at the resort. Go into town, save money, and get better food. By the way, our meal plan didn't even bother to include the little café in the lobby of the hotel in which we were actually STAYING and it took us asking for information to get anyone to review the particulars of the plan with us. · Restaurant Facilities: NONE of the restaurants have in-café toilet facilities. You have to go outside, around the corner, down a hall if you or your children need to relieve yourselves! · Restaurants and Children: Few of the restaurants offered a true "kids" menu with portions suited to them, not to mention not offering any crayons or other diversions. Heck at least a McDonalds you get a toy for under $3.00 whereas even a hotdog ran $5.00. · Pools: did not open till 10 or 11 am and then if you forget to get your towels back to the attendants by 5 pm they will charge you $25 each. · Tours: The discounted tour coupons you receive from the Atlantis reservation desk are for truly shoddy services. For example, for a mere $65 per adult you can go on a lush blue lagoon cruise. This "lush" experience begins with a boat that has broken chairs, and includes a lunch that could have been made by the local homeless shelter. Some deal… · First Aid stations - I never saw ONE anywhere. · Rooms: There are only a very few places that can take families of 5, meaning you're stuck renting two rooms when one could easily do. They actually have a policy against more than four in a room. While the rooms are large and airy, we did not receive soap etc. one morning and had to request it special the next day. Additionally unless you request the bed be made up fresh, they do not change any sheets. While this is done under the guise of being ecologically friendly - it strikes me more as lazy and cheap. · Not Kid Friendly: Unless the weather is good there is little, if anything for children to do. Oh, yes, there's the discovery kids camp at a whopping $40 for four hours. When we took our children, half their facilities were not working - computers were down, etc. so the kids basically played tag and other games (as my seven year old stated plainly - boring!) · Layout: The resort is not made for elderly, people with any type of handicap or for younger children. Everything meanders and it is often quite a hike to the nearest restaurant Do I seem bitter - you bet. At a minimum of about $2,000 a day for a family of five to stay on the property (with meal plan and airfare) I expected five star service and can barely rate what I received as passable for a Motel 6! Unless you like to gamble and have no kids -- Save your money for Disney.
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